Your problem exactly has been well known... so don't feel alienated. :)
Here is the reference: CD-book "The Fine Art of SmallTalk", by Debra Fine (2004 Small Talk Press); this particular problem is discussed in CD 1, track 3. But there is more than that in this book... "Make every conversation an opportunity for success" and "How to start a conversation, keep it going, build rapport - and leave a positive impression". And moreover (my personal impression)... - it's absolutely FUN to listen to it!!!
The answer exactly
Here is the reference: CD-book "The Fine Art of SmallTalk", by Debra Fine (2004 Small Talk Press); this particular problem is discussed in CD 1, track 3. But there is more than that in this book... "Make every conversation an opportunity for success" and "How to start a conversation, keep it going, build rapport - and leave a positive impression". And moreover (my personal impression)... - it's absolutely FUN to listen to it!!!